At a young age, I was molested, and as a result, I was tormented with perverted thoughts that I am not really a girl. I thought I might be in between – half boy half girl. I saw that I had the body of a girl, but I thought I had the mentality of a boy. I became aggressive, tough, and did my best not to be “girly”. I hated anything girly and thought sensitivity was weakness. And I was so miserable.
I also dealt with insecurity because of horrible acne problems for ten years, and I would constantly be sure to hide my face and let people see only my “good” side. And because of a church split when I was around 10, all my friends and cousins left. I cried at nights, feeling rejected and worthless. As a child, I felt like I had no one. Any chance I got, I would try to impress others with anything. I was the “nice” girl at school, but I only did it for pride, attention and to fill the void of loneliness. I was fake.
So here I was going to “church”, but still depressed, lonely, insecure, in identity crisis, growing up into a young adult. And THANK GOD He interfered. I grew up in a Christian home, but religion taught me that you have to be “good” so God can love you. So I strived to please God through my “good” deeds, yet I was still messed up.
Then around the age of 17, my uncle Serg and aunt Helen introduced us to something called righteousness – right standing with God as if I never sinned. We watched Your Liberty in Christ class from GWWM and my life has never been the same. We chewed and dissected on what we learned, and little by little, I came out of my hole. I realized that I didn’t have to prove to God anything, He still loved me no matter what – He viewed me as perfect.
My mentality began to change. God was working in me, and through LD, He delivered me from depression, insecurity, homosexuality, pride, unforgiveness, and on. I no longer wonder who I am – I now know that I know that I know that I am righteous, perfect, prized by God. Now I walk with boldness and confidence, knowing who and Whose I am. I thank God for what He did through LD and the Body of Christ. Jesus is the only way to absolute freedom!!
If you have a similar story, reach out to us!! Help is available!
-Elina (Elinachka :))
Board Secretary/Worship Team
email: [email protected]
direct phone: 717-480-4880 x 102